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    February 08

    If you have to tell people …

    My favorite Margaret Thatcher quote is “Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.” I was reminded of this the other day when I saw a huge pickup truck with a bumper sticker that said “Sexy ass woman driving a big ass truck.”  While there is no question that was a “big ass truck” I have a real hard time seeing the driver as a “sexy ass woman.” Well unless “sexy ass” has nothing to do with appearance. This woman was scary. Every time I have seen a bumper sticker or a license plate that indicated the driver/owner was sexy, beautify or otherwise attractive the bumper sticker was saying things that where contradicted by seeing the driver.

    So I was thinking, if you have to tell people you are sexy are you really? Or is it just what you want to think of yourself as? I made the same statement with regards to being a new media expert recently. If you have to tell me you are an expert in blogging or Twitter or other social media isn’t that a sign of something missing?

    Sure if you have things to tell me so that I can conclude you are an expert myself that’s fine. Or if someone else tells me “oh so and so is an expert” maybe I’ll listen. Although to be honest I’ll probably want some sort of evidence. There are too many cases of the one eyed man leading the blind out there in social media.

    I see people put themselves out as experts on social media all the time. All too often they have Technorati rankings lower than mine (on my main blog which even when it was double what it is now was not that impressive) or they are “Twitter experts” and they have a follower count or a Twitter grader rank lower than mine. Not that I am an expert or anything like a social media star. I know people who are blogging, Twittering, Friendfeed, Facebook stars and trust me I am no where near where they are. I’m just saying that if you are a media star there should be statistics to back it up.

    And there are other things. Like being smart or knowledgeable. Don’t tell me you are – act like you are and I’ll figure it out.

    Now I’m not saying that people shouldn’t have positive self-images of themselves. If someone wants to look in the mirror and see a smart, sexy, just incredible person go ahead. I do. But I don’t go around trying to convince people that the thin, athletic, smart sexy guy with a full head of hair I picture in my head when I think of myself is necessarily the same as their reality.

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    5 days ago
    Didithwrote:
    Self-efficacy is a strange and convoluted thing. We have an internal self-image of who we are which probably isn't how we are perceived to be, different still from who we truly are. However, I do believe we should strive for as much overlap among those spheres as possible.
    Feb. 14
    It doesn't bother me so much as it makes we want to yell "The emperor has no clothing." :-)
    Feb. 9
    Dougwrote:
    These are excellent words of advice for everyone, Alfred. Thanks for reminding us. There is a real push to use social networking to brand yourself, your product, or your service. Probably the best testament as to what you really are is to listen to what folks are saying about you. After all, perception in the eye of the beholder is the ultimate test.

    It seems to bother you but I'd suggest to just let it roll off your back. At the end of the day, everyone is revealed for what they are by their actions and not by the label they self-attach.
    Feb. 8

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